When we conducted a recent survey to see what the readers of the Young Wives Club site would like to see more of, several responded by saying they would like to see posts on how to foster better communication in marriage. We all know just how important good communication is (we hear that all the time!), but what does good communication actually look like? How do we get there? My hope is that you will find something in this article that you can take and use in your own marriage to grow in your communication skills with your husband.
10 Tips for Fostering Better Communication in Your Marriage
- Wait for the right time.
This is key, ladies. I recently recorded a podcast interview with my husband, and we talked about a husband’s perspective on a host of different issues ranging from sex and respect, to communication and work. When I asked him how a wife should go about bringing up important topics with her husband, he said it is important to wait for the right time. We want to be sure we have our husband’s full attention, that he is not burdened or weighed down by other distractions and worries in that moment, etc. I thought that was great advice, and it honestly reminded me of how Esther handled the serious situation of having to talk to her husband, the King. While her life circumstances are far removed from ours, there is something to be said for wisely waiting for the right time to bring up important topics. Don’t attempt to have those discussions while the little ones are present and interrupting, while your husband is trying to get some important work done, etc. Exercise wisdom and discernment and wait for the right time. Otherwise, we’ll risk causing our husbands to want to run for the hills rather than actually listen to us!
- Speak in the right tone.
This is important. During our podcast interview, I asked my husband why it is that men want to run in the opposite direction when they hear the phrase, “Honey, we need to talk.” He said it’s because that instantly puts them on edge, making them wonder what the problem is. He made the point that if, instead, we wives can nonchalantly, with an encouraging and lighthearted tone, bring up a topic to discuss at a relaxing time in a non-confrontational way, that men would be far more willing to listen to whatever it is we have to say without instantly jumping to the defensive or getting worried and moving into “fix it” mode. Makes sense!
- Remember who you married and why.
When life gets hard, your marriage feels a bit tense, and communication isn’t going so well, first stop and remember who you married and why. That man is still there. He is still the guy you married and somewhere (even if they are hard to see!) those same characteristics which caused you to fall in love with him are present. Search for them and your desire to communicate well, with respect and love, will begin to grow.
To read the other 7 tips, head to the Young Wives Club!
