161: “Mothering by the Book” (Lies Moms Believe Series #13) with Rebekah Hargraves (Solo Episode 27)

On today’s solo podcast episode, I am finishing out the podcast series based on my book, Lies Moms Believe (And How the Gospel Refutes Them) with a chat addressing the final 3 lies covered in the book, “The most important thing is my child’s education”, “Good moms do ‘xyz'”, and “You have to ‘do’ motherhood the way the culture tells you”. I hope you come away from this episode with your mind transformed and your heart encouraged by the truths of the gospel!

What I Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~The final 3 lies covered in my book:

30.  “The most important thing is my child’s education.”

31.  “Good moms do ‘xyz'”

32. “You have to ‘do’ motherhood the way the culture tells you”

~The overemphasis (and sometimes excessive time) given to athletics and academics; why both are important, but neither is the most important aspect of childhood; what we should ultimately be giving our focus and attention to

~What Paul says about the benefits of athletics vs. the benefits of growing in godliness

~How Paul viewed his own high education

~The impact an overemphasis on athletics and academics is having on our churches specifically and on the nation at large

~The problem with looking to “experts” rather than to the Word of God

~The problem of the mommy wars

~What “good moms” actually do

~How damaging the expectations of others can be and how freeing God’s Word is

~Living the life God has called us to, not the life He has called our sisters-in-Christ to

~Letting go of the “shoulds” and embracing what God has for you

~And more!

Resources Mentioned

Offer for a free audiobook and 30 day trial membership from Audible: www.audibletrial.com/HomeandHearth

Previous Solo Podcast Episodes

 

QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

“It is very common in both the culture and the church to place an overemphasis on two things: academics and athletics. Many moms are striving to ensure their children receive the best possible education, with the fast track to an Ivy League school being the end goal. Other moms are busy shuffling their children to this sports practice or that game in an effort to see them become Olympic-level in their athletic ability. While being highly educated is certainly important, and athletic prowess can be beneficial to some extent, to tend to our children’s souls is far more so.”

“To have been educated ‘at the feet of Gamaliel’ as Paul was would have been viewed in the same way that being educated at Harvard or Yale is today. What is interesting, however, is that in spite of the preeminence and praise such an education would have clearly afforded Paul, he says that, in truth it actually benefited him little. In fact, it could be said that his education actually did him more harm than good, serving to blind him to the truth of who Jesus was and leading to his persecution of the Church.”

“Paul is not against things like physical exercise or sports (the Greek word here is gymnasia, which is where we get our word “gymnasium” and, therefore, denotes athletics). They are not inherently the problem; he even admits that they are somewhat beneficial. The problem is when we pursue them (or anything else!) to the negligence of our pursuit of godliness. Or, to put it another way, the problem is when we idolize sports in our homes, dedicating so much of our children’s precious time to games and practices, leaving little time for learning and growing in the things of God.”

“Where do all these heightened emotions, judgment calls, and feelings of condemnation which make up the mommy wars come from? I would say they stem directly from a shelving of the Word of God in exchange for the wisdom of man. Yet again, we have believed (whether subconsciously or otherwise) that God’s Word is not all that relevant to our everyday lives. As a result, we are relying on our own research and what we learn from the experts online.”

“The mommy wars do nothing but turn us into the kind of Pharisees described in Luke 18:9 ‘who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others’. This is precisely what happens when we, as the Pharisees did, add our own beliefs and preferences to the Word of God. The truth is that a lot of the fear, anxiety, judgment, and guilt we experience in motherhood would begin to melt away if we simply knew God’s Word, believed it to be true, and placed our trust solely in the Lord. instead of in the expectations of others.”

“When we believe that ‘good moms’ do [fill in the blank], we end up believing that we need to be just like those other moms, living our lives exactly the way they do. We end up placing heavy burdens on our backs as we try to fit into another person’s mold. What we have to remember, however, is that God has not called us to live someone else’s life; He has called us to live the life He has entrusted to us.”

“Another issue with this ‘good moms do xyz’ idea is that, oftentimes, the qualifications we place on moms are not based on God’s Word. When we spread around this idea, the ‘xzy’ is typically not a true Biblical standard such as, Good moms read the Bible with their kids. Instead, we are basing our qualifications of a good mom on man-made expectations such as Good moms feed their kids all organic foods or Good moms color with their kids every day.”

“Good moms are about the business of imitating Christ, not the women on social media. Good moms are about the business of seeking the wisdom of God and trusting His leadership, more than the ‘perfect’ parenting method or man-made formula. Good moms are about the business of training their children in the ways of God, not sticking their noses in the affairs of other moms.”

“From our earliest days, we have all these voices coming at us as to what we should do with our lives, what our marriages should look like if we do get married, what role our motherhood should play, what our “career” plans should be in the midst of marriage and family, and more.  This is not what the Lord intended for His children, however. He does not want to see us bombarded with cultural expectations and “shoulds”, feeling pulled in every direction by folks on every side who each want us to do something different with our time. In fact, the Lord gave us His Word precisely so that we might be freed from all this!”

 

WHERE YOU CAN FIND REBEKAH ONLINE:

Websites – Hargraves Home and Hearth

Instagram –@rebekahhargraves

Facebook – Hargraves Home and Hearth 

Twitter – @hhomeandhearth

Podcast – Home and Hearth Podcast

 

To Leave a Rating and Review on iTunes Have you been encouraged or inspired by today’s episode? If so, could I ask a little favor? If you could leave the podcast a rating and review in iTunes, that would be amazing! The more ratings and reviews a podcast receives, the more iTunes shows that podcast to other folks searching for shows to listen to, so by leaving me a rating and review, you truly are partnering with me in this podcast ministry to encourage and help as many women as we possibly can. Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! Here’s how: If you’re on your computer:

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