166: Cultivating Life-Giving Friendships (Solo Episode 30) with Rebekah Hargraves (Friendship Matters Series #3)

A month ago we kicked off a brand new solo podcast series based on a book I co-authored with my dear friend, Amber Durgan, entitled “Friendship Matters: Cultivating Meaningful Connections in an Isolated World”. In the first episode we covered the introduction and first chapter of the book, and in episode 2 we zeroed in on chapter 2. Today we are focusing on chapter 3, a chapter that is all about cultivating friendships – the how-tos, as well as the things which tend to stand in our way. For Amber’s perspective on this chapter, head on over to her podcast episode tomorrow!

What I Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~The how-tos of cultivating friendships

~The reality that our having to initiate friendship is not something to complain about or disparage – it is actually a part of our God-given mission and a way we can bear to the world the image of our initiating God

~The 5 biggest barriers to cultivating friendships:

busyness/no time
judgment and a lack of unity
comparison and competition
perfectionism
a lack of vulnerability and authenticity

~The truths we need to combat these barriers and how to fight back against them

~Practical tips, tricks, and ideas for making time for and initiating friendship

~How to start going deeper with aquaintances and new friends; how to begin having more meaningful, deeper conversations

~More than 25 get-to-know you questions to ask a new friend – both fun ones and deep ones

~The comforting reality that the God Who calls us to pursue and initiate friendship has fully equipped us to do so through the wisdom and truths found in His Word

~And more!

Resources Mentioned

Offer for a free audiobook and 30 day trial membership from Audible: www.audibletrial.com/HomeandHearth

Previous Solo Podcast Episodes

Friendship Matters: Cultivating Meaningful Connections in an Isolated World by Amber Durgan and Rebekah Hargraves

Previous “Friendship Matters” Episodes

Amber’s Friendship Matters Podcast Series

QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

“We have in our minds the idea that others should be pursuing and initiating friendship with us, while we should be able to just sit around and wait. This is so far removed from the example of Christ, however, and the way in which He designed us to operate.”

“Proverbs 18:24 says that a man who has friends must show himself friendly. The truth is, if we want to have friends, we are going to have to be the ones to go out there and initiate friendship. The deeper reality here is that we have been specifically called and equipped to initiate and pursue friendship with others. This is part of our role as ambassadors of Christ. As we see throughout the Word, God Himself was the initiator of His friendship with us. And so must we be with others.”

“There are 5 big barriers to cultivating friendship and they are: busyness/no time, judgment and a lack of unity, comparison and competition, perfectionism, and a lack of vulnerability and authenticity. The good news is, we have truths in God’s Word to successfully fight back against each one.”

“Because we know God has called us to pursue and prioritize friendship and community, if we are considering ourselves to be too busy to find time for friends, we can be rest assured that we are busy doing a lot of things God never actually asked us to do.”

“If we want to foster the sort of friendships we see talked about in the Word, we are going to have to first let go of our comparison and competition and, instead, look solely to the Lord and what He would have us do with our own unique lives.”

“A good rule of thumb when trying to figure out what to talk about with a new acquaintance or friend is this: as her about herself. Chances are, because we all want to feel like we are seen, known, heard, and understood, the gal you are asking questions of will be more than happy to talk about herself and her background.”

“Pursuing and initiating friendship can feel daunting, overhelming, and confusing. But it truly doesn’t have to be. With a mind that understands the importance of friendship, a heart of love for others, and a listening ear, you can show yourself to be friendly and be well on your way to cultivating the kinds of friendships for which we all yearn – and which God yearns for us to hae, too!”

WHERE YOU CAN FIND REBEKAH ONLINE:

Websites – Hargraves Home and Hearth

Instagram –@rebekahhargraves

Facebook – Hargraves Home and Hearth

Twitter – @hhomeandhearth

Podcast – Home and Hearth Podcast

To Leave a Rating and Review on iTunes Have you been encouraged or inspired by today’s episode? If so, could I ask a little favor? If you could leave the podcast a rating and review in iTunes, that would be amazing! The more ratings and reviews a podcast receives, the more iTunes shows that podcast to other folks searching for shows to listen to, so by leaving me a rating and review, you truly are partnering with me in this podcast ministry to encourage and help as many women as we possibly can. Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! Here’s how: If you’re on your computer:

Access iTunes on your desktop and type Home and Hearth in the search box on the upper right hand corner.
Click on the podcast photo when it comes up
Click on “Ratings and Reviews” beneath the podcast title
Under “Customer Reviews”, click on “Write a Review”
Click on how many stars you want to rate the podcast and then write out your review and click submit
You’re done! Thank you so much!!

If you’re on your phone:

Open the podcasts app
Click the search button on the bottom righthand corner (the magnifying glass) and type in Home and Hearth in the search box that will appear at the top of your screen
Click on the podcast photo when it pops up
Click on the reviews button near the top middle of the screen
Scroll down a bit, if needed, until you see “Write a Review” and click on that
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