172: Boundaries are a Thing (Solo Episode 33) with Rebekah Hargraves (Friendship Matters Series #7)

 

 

A few months ago, we kicked off a brand new solo podcast series based on a book I co-authored with my dear friend, Amber Durgan, entitled “Friendship Matters: Cultivating Meaningful Connections in an Isolated World”.   Today we are focusing on chapter 7, a chapter that is all about boundaries and forgiveness and how to deal with friends who are guilty of the five red flags we talked about last time. For Amber’s perspective on this chapter, head on over to her podcast episode tomorrow!

What I Chat about in Today’s Episode:

~The “good little Christian girl syndrome” (as Sally Clarkson calls it) which makes you think you always have to be the “yes girl”, that you can never stick up for yourself, and that you always must simply turn the other cheek, come what may

~Understanding the cruelness of being an enabler to someone else’s bad behavior

~Jesus’ teaching on the importance of turning the other cheek, and balancing that with His own example of erecting boundaries and correcting behavior when needed

~Examples in Scripture when Jesus erected boundaries in a multitude of different situations

~The Matthew 18 Method for addressing sin and erecting boundaries as needed

~Seven steps for erecting boundaries while also desiring reconciliation and restoration

~3 things to understand if you are new to the concept of boundaries

~The importance of being clear and consistent in what your boundaries are

~The crucial part forgiveness plays in all this

~4 important things to understand about forgiveness

~Boundaries and peacemaking (not to be confused with peacekeeping!)

~And more!

Resources Mentioned

Offer for a free audiobook and 30 day trial membership from Audible: www.audibletrial.com/HomeandHearth

Previous Solo Podcast Episodes

Previous “Friendship Matters” Episodes

QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

“The same Jesus Who did teach His followers to turn the other cheek is also the same Jesus Who willingly erected boundaries with people when necessary.”

“There is no one-size-fits-ever-situation and no hard and fast rule regarding how to deal with challenging people. Sometimes it is right and proper to be forbearing and to turn the other cheek, while at other times it’s right to exercise boundaries and perhaps even move on altogether. While some may feel frustrated over this and just want a black and white answer, what I have come to discover is that having some issues remain grey rather than black and white is a blessing because it forces you to walk by the Spirit which makes for a stronger faith and a more intimate relationship with the Lord as you seek His guidance.”

“Jesus exercised boundaries with the Pharisees repeatedly, refusing to give in to their expectations and desires, calling them out on their sinful arrogance, and refusing to let them go on with their behavior unaddressed.”

“Jesus had clear boundaries for His time and attention, specifically protecting and prioritizing the time He spent with His Father.”

“Jesus yearns for reconciliation and unity among His people and has even gone so far as to give us the ministry of reconciliation, so it is not enough for us to simply turn the other cheek as we are repeatedly mistreated by our brother or sister in Christ, enabling them to continue in their sin. Nor is it appropriate for us to simply seethe on the inside over the treatment we have received while outwardly we are striving to do everything we can to people-please and keep the peace. Neither route is the one that seeks and works toward true reconciliation, so neither is what Christ ultimately has in mind for us.”

“Being a peacemaker (rather than a peacekeeper!) is so important. And sometimes, in order to see true peace and reconciliation, we must address with our friends the problems we are experiencing in the friendship.”

“Even while erecting important and necessary boundaries, continue to pray for reconciliation in the relationship and for God’s best for the other person.”

“Boundaries are sometimes necessary and sometimes not, but one thing that is always required is forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness does not excuse away the other person’s behavior. But it does present a powerful picture of the gospel and the forgiveness you have been given by God.”

 

WHERE YOU CAN FIND REBEKAH ONLINE:

Websites – Hargraves Home and Hearth

Instagram –@rebekahhargraves

Facebook – Hargraves Home and Hearth 

Twitter – @hhomeandhearth

Podcast – Home and Hearth Podcast

 

To Leave a Rating and Review on iTunes Have you been encouraged or inspired by today’s episode? If so, could I ask a little favor? If you could leave the podcast a rating and review in iTunes, that would be amazing! The more ratings and reviews a podcast receives, the more iTunes shows that podcast to other folks searching for shows to listen to, so by leaving me a rating and review, you truly are partnering with me in this podcast ministry to encourage and help as many women as we possibly can. Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! Here’s how: If you’re on your computer:

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