Just earlier today, I shared my review of Amy Seiffert’s brand new devotional, Grace Looks Amazing on You: 100 Days of Reflecting God’s Love. Now, I’m honored to share her wise words on how we can give grace to the women around us. Enjoy!
I remember how her smile wrapped around my heart like a warm blanket, making me feel cozy and safe; how she told stories and made me laugh; how important I felt helping her in the kitchen. My grandma always gave me a wink and then told me she had a very important job for me to do. At family get-togethers, she’d hand me a small spiral notepad and a golf pencil to record dessert orders from each family member. With her seven children and all their children, there was a lot of pie to pass out. She’d let me count out the forks and napkins, which felt like a special task. It turns out—if you ask any cousin of mine— they all thought they were the special one. Her magic was in the fact that everyone felt like her favorite.
She truly had mastered the art of giving out grace at every turn. And she spared no one, young or old, with her gracious ways. Grabbing the gold from my grandma’s ways and surveying the gracious acts from some of my dear friends, I want to offer five practical ways to give grace to the women around you.
How to Give Grace to Women Around You
- Practice Empathy. When a friend tells you about a shameful situation, a poor choice, a circumstance that has put her under the pile—big or little —grace looks like empathy. Do all you can to resist shaming her. Shame is the enemy of grace. Don’t tell her how she should have done X, Y, and Z. She likely knows that already. Instead, move toward her and get in her shoes. Tell her, “Me too,” or “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say, but I’m so glad you told me.” The most empathetic thing to do is to sit with a friend in her darkness. Don’t try to fix it. Don’t give sterile spiritual advice. Just sit with her in it. Listen to her. Cry with her. Hold space for her pain. God’s grace is born from His great compassion for us. And we can reflect that same compassion to a friend.
- Bring Levity and Laughter. One of my favorite things about my sister is her ability to create light in a difficult situation. She brings levity. Yes, she will listen and empathize, but soon enough she’s cracking a joke or sending an SNL video to my phone or telling a terrible story about how she was in a similar situation, but she survived it. She has so often given the gift of helping me see that I will survive whatever I’m going through. The trick here, of course, is timing. But when you lighten up someone’s mood with laughter, that’s grace looking amazing on you. Don’t underestimate the spiritual nature of laughter. It tears down walls. It connects us. It lightens the load.
- Notice and Name It. I have a friend who is always telling others the good she notices in them. I’ve heard her say to another friend who kept her cool in a stressful situation, “Good job staying kind and calm to that flight attendant. You were patient. That was awesome.” She watches for the good fruit in others’ lives and names it. When we name something, it becomes much more real. It says that good deed was seen, and it matters. It becomes a gift of grace to another. Pointing out the good fruit in others’ lives—that is what the Kingdom of God is all about.
- Smile. Especially in public places. When you see a mom starting to lose it in the grocery store because one of her children is crying and negotiating a box of Frosted Flakes like a master terrorist while another has managed to climb to the top of the shelves, smile. Hold your judgment. Remember that your child is no angel. Recall the grace you needed yesterday at your job with a coworker. A simple smile at a struggling sister can diffuse a hot temper or calm a shame storm. A smile can restore her dignity. A smile says, “Me too, sister. You are not alone. There is grace here, even in this.”
- Give a Simple Gift. It could be a note. A text. A call. A hug. A coffee. An offer to take her kids for an hour so she can get a breather. Gifts don’t have to be expensive; they just have to be thoughtful. One of my favorite ways to offer grace to a friend is to take her kids so she can get out of the house and clear her mind. Relieving her from the circus for a little bit can be a gift of amazing grace for her whole week.
Can you imagine what it would do for your community, family, or workplace if you set out to practice just one of these five ways of giving grace? Whenever anyone has given me grace in one of these ways, I am lighter. I feel free. I am ready to give grace to others just as it was given me.
Amy Seiffert is an author, writer, and teacher. She currently is on the teaching team at Brookside Church, where she also directs community groups and team cohesion. She has also been an affiliate Cru staff member for more than eighteen years. Weaving biblical wisdom through her presentations, Amy inspires, teaches, and humbly invites any willing spiritual pilgrim to walk alongside her in the pursuit of truth and the knowledge of God. Amy is married to Rob, and they live in Bowling Green, Ohio, with their three kids.
