When I heard that Sharon Jaynes was releasing a brand new book entitled “When You Don’t Like Your Story: What If Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories?”, I jumped at the chance to have her write a guest post for the blog! I mean, after the year we have all had, we could use some wisdom and encouragement on this topic, right?? I hope that Sharon’s words to you today are a balm and encouragement to your soul!
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My son, Steven, and I sat on the floor in his room playing a card game. The summer was proving to be the best ever. Our golden retriever, Ginger, had just delivered seven adorable puppies, Steven was enjoying his sixth summer of life, and after four years of negative pregnancy tests, God had surprised us with a new life growing inside my womb.
But as Steven and I sat cross-legged on the carpet, I felt a warm, sticky sensation run down my leg. A trip to the bathroom confirmed my greatest fears—I was bleeding. Later that afternoon, the doctor voiced the weighty words, “There is no heartbeat.”
When Heartbreak Comes Knocking
What do you do when heartbreak slams into joy? When your soul cracks open and there just aren’t enough tears? When hurt steals your hope and you want to give up on life? When deep soul lesions make a mockery of your faith?
I wish I could tell you I left the doctor’s office quoting Romans 8:28 about how “all things work together for good” (ESV). I wish I could tell you that I calmly accepted the loss of my baby with faith, trusting that even this was somehow part of God’s plan. I wish I could tell you I spent the rest of the day singing “It Is Well with My Soul.” But I didn’t do any of those things.
I went home, crawled in bed, and pulled the covers up over my empty womb and broken heart. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially God. And what I did say to Him wasn’t very nice.
How could you do this to me? If this is how You treat those you love, then just forget it! You answered my prayer only to take it back! Why me? Why this? Why now?
After my tearful outburst, I gave God the silent treatment, as if I could somehow pay him back. I mourned for my child and felt the ache of empty arms. I never realized until then how desperately I could miss someone I had never met. But, oh, how I missed her.
God’s Warm Embrace
God and I had a lover’s quarrel that summer. Actually, I was the only one arguing. I felt betrayed by the one who was supposed to love me most. Pierced by the one who was supposed to protect my heart. And while I gave God the cold shoulder, his warm embrace refused to let me go. He stayed right by my side, waiting, wooing, and drawing my hurting heart back to him. God always wants to heal our broken places and fill our empty spaces. I can see that now, but I couldn’t see it then.
Job was a man in the Bible who also had a lot of questions for God. In one day, his enemies killed all but a handful of his servants and stole all eleven thousand heads of livestock. Then a strong wind collapsed his son’s house and killed all ten of Job’s children. We read the story of Job already knowing how it is going to end—the Lord not only restored what Job had lost, but “gave him twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10).
But can you imagine what it was like to live through it in real time? Job was stuck in a bad story and he saw no end in sight. He had no idea why it was happening. He didn’t know God would give him twice as much as he had before. All he knew was loss, disappointment, and pain. That might be where you are right now, stuck in a story you don’t like. But hang on, God’s pen has not slipped. He’s still in control. There’s more to come.
Communion with God – Even in the Hard Times
My favorite line in Job’s story comes at the very end. Job says to God, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” (Job 42:5). That is my prayer in every difficult circumstance of life. I don’t want to simply hear about God; I want to see God and have communion with him in the midst of it.
A houseful of children was not how my chapter of infertility and the loss of a child ended, but I can still say it had a good ending. One day, I was reading Song of Songs in the Bible. I read it as if I were the bride and Jesus were my bridegroom. At one point, the bride says to her beloved, “I am a rose of Sharon” (Song of Songs 2:1).
What did she call herself? God seemed to ask.
A rose of Sharon, I whispered. My name.
Prompted by the Holy Spirit, I looked up the rose of Sharon in my Bible dictionary. I was surprised to learn that Sharon was a fertile valley near Mount Carmel. It was then that God showed me that even though my medical chart said “infertile,” He had made me a fertile valley in so many other ways.
The Bible tells us, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT). God has used that struggle to make me stronger, braver, and wiser than I would have ever been without it. And when women come to me trying to make sense of the disappointments in their lives, I can say, “Come, sit with me. Let me tell you a story.” I’d call that fruitful.
I do not know what you’re going through right now, but I do know that God’s pen has not slipped. Hang on. God turns out broken stories into beautiful prose and unwanted pages into stunning narratives of victory if we let Him. The parts of our stories that we sometimes wish He had left out of the narrative often become the ones that He uses most.
Our pain can become a portal of God’s grace. Our ravaged pages can become God’s redemptive masterpiece that allows others to see Him through the rent canvas of life. And that’s what transforms our worst chapters into our greatest victories.
Sharon Jaynes is the author of 25 books including her latest release, When You Don’t Like Your Story: What if Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories. Click here to read a free chapter, watch a video, or learn more about Sharon’s other resources.
